I haven't done a bumpdate since 15 weeks! I don't know where to start besides to say that this sweet pregnancy has sped by. I guess having a busy toddler will do that.
Though I've been nowhere near as anxious this go around, I've just recently started getting over the feeling that this is too good to be true.
Sweet baby boy, the day I found out I was pregnant with you was a precious one. I was in Seattle with my mom and Bonnie fulfilling my role (or trying to at least) as bridesmaid to one of my dearest friends, Caroline. I had stuck a few dollar tree pregnancy tests in my make up bag to take over the course of the weekend while trying not to get my hopes up. I wasn't sure how the symptoms of a spontaneous pregnancy might differ from my prior two resulting from the help of clomid and trigger shots (the trigger shots & meds do crazy things to your hormones... sometimes making you feel pregnant when you aren't). I also wasn't sure if I was crazy in thinking that I had actually ovulated without the help of anything; but again, I couldn't help but hope.
I took a test and set it aside while continuing to get ready. While glancing back at it, my heart literally felt as if it were going to explode pumping out of my chest. Two pink lines!??! For real??!
I had to swallow my excitement and hold it in best I could as the coming day was full of celebrations and bridesmaid duties. It was a good distraction. I didn't even get to tell Andrew until later the following morning as I wanted to tell him over the phone and not via text (let's be real, I couldn't wait another week to tell him in person). He happened to be on an away rotation delivering babies and working long night shifts that month. I woke him up with my call (post night shift) the following morning and it's safe to say he was just as surprised as I was.
Once home, the high and excitement from a positive pregnancy test quickly faded as I began spotting. Thinking I should have known better and that it was all too good to be true, I began preparing my heart and mind for another loss. Though, I had no idea what to expect as I never bled or cramped with our first. It was all too familiar and entirely foreign and frightening at the same time. The spotting continued to come and go over that week but never progressed. We cautiously moved on with each new day praying it wouldn't end in bad news. Over the course of that first trimester, the bleeding returned at 8 and 12 weeks. Our 13 week ultrasound was perfect and reassuring that the spotting was entirely normal and fine. Seeing that perfect profile and little body on ultrasound made me feel more encouraged but still hesitant.
Fast forward to 32 weeks and for all we know, we have a beautiful, healthy baby boy growing right on track. Praise God! Less than 60 days until this boy arrives and things are feeling much more real. As far as symptoms go, I'm of course feeling huge, stiff, and like a turtle... The heartburn is here with a vengeance but I'm back on track with stronger dose of pepcid to combat it. My bladder is weaker than ever and I'm up a number of times at night. My random upper abdominal pain (we found out is nerve related with Bonnie's pregnancy) is back but I am coping far better with it this time. Lastly, I've developed a gnarly umbilical hernia (yuck, right!?) and will likely eventually need a surgery to repair that (though it shouldn't be too much of a problem when not pregnant). Nothing is too far out of the ordinary and all with babe is great. I mostly just feel like things are going much smoother this go around and most importantly, I'm much less worried and anxious. Hallelujah!
Andrew and I still haven't 100% decided on a name, but I think we are pretty sure on one- just not wanting to commit. So, we'll see! Big sis Bonnie gives kisses and hugs to my tummy and continues to say, "mama, big" to me each day.... Yes, thank you.
With a few potential big changes in the coming weeks (we might be moving to a new-to-us house!!?), nesting is mostly put on hold. Flexibility is the key right now and we are just going with the flow. So, baby boy...... keep cooking. We can't wait to meet you and we all love you so much already.