We are back from our Alaskan cruise getaway and I'm feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, creatively inspired, and simply full of gratefulness for the absolutely beautiful week we enjoyed as husband and wife. We returned just in time for Mother's Day. Though this was my first "real" mother's day, in my heart, it was my third. My first Mother's Day was spent sharing our exciting pregnancy news. I was eight weeks along and beyond thrilled. Naive too. A few weeks later, we miscarried and my empty arms ached beyond belief. The following mother's day, I was 30 weeks pregnant with miss Bonnie. Oh, such joy. Such thankfulness. This mother's day, though a piece of my heart still yearns and aches for our first little one, my arms are far from empty. Boy, are they full! Full with care and love for a bouncy, giggly, darling little Bonnie Grace.
She's amazing. Being her mom is such a gift. I think of those 40 and a half weeks of carrying her in my womb and wondering who she would be. I had no idea that a blue-eyed spunky and independent little beauty would be our Bonnie. I had no idea how much of a schedule-stickler I'd become as a mother. I had no idea how much I would love nursing her. I had no idea how much making her roll on the floor in out of control laughter would liven me. I didn't know how much my babe and I would be able to communicate with each other so early on. There's much I didn't know and I'm learning every day.
My mom told me today how much I enjoyed playing with baby dolls when I was a little girl. From helping in the church nursery as an elementary schooler to working as a mom-baby nurse... having a child (especially a baby) of my own was probably my deepest and greatest desire from a very young age. I hope that I never take being a mother for granted. Not for one second. It's not easy.... and I only have one.... but it's a gift. Each and every day as a mother is a gift.
Thank you, Andrew, for helping me and supporting me in this motherhood journey. Thank you for encouraging me when I don't feel like I'm doing my best. Thank you for being sweet enough to take the mom/daughter photos below for me even though we were all sweating like crazy. I will treasure them forever. We love you, Bonnie Grace. Thank you for calling me mama and bringing such light into our lives every day.