|Pacific City, OR|
I'm exhausted, my body aches, I'm worn out, our home is a complete disaster, and I've been in a somewhat sour mood.
When I was in nursing school and found myself completely worn down, I recall being envious of my patients (how backwards & messed up is that!?). I wished that for just 24 hours I could trade places with them. I longed to just lay in bed, sleep & have food brought to me (yummy pie slices). As a nurse, I know that this is nowhere near to what happens when you are a patient. It is a rarity to get 1 hour of uninterrupted sleep in the hospital. However- I still wished that for just a day, I could give up all control, rest, and trust others to take care of me. Crazy, I know...
Maybe it is the combination of working 12hr night shifts & switching back and forth all the time, or a busy few weeks with inconsistent schedules. Or... the horrid sunburn I got from the coast this weekend soaking up every bit of energy I have (I get really odd looks from patients & have to explain that its not contagious or anything as I'm holding their newborn- fun times). Whatever it is, I find myself struggling to turn to God & submit my worries, aches, negative thoughts, & tiredness to Him. I lay here in bed now waiting for the phone call to come into work as I was thankfully placed "on-call" for the night because of low census. Though I know I'll be called in before the night ends, I am grateful for the few extra hours I may have to just rest & re-center my mind & heart.
I whole-heartidly believe that I can never turn away discouraged by God's word. I will meditate on this simple verse tonight:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.